7 Things I Did Last January to Ensure a Great Year: A Journal Tour

I resent the negative connotation towards the “New Year, New Me” mentality. It’s our human right to evolve. Every cell in our body replaces in 6 years, taste buds replaced every 6 months, 75% of our composition is water, and the great conductor and connector is flowing through endlessly. It’s your choice if you want to sit in complacency, accepting and loving yourself in your dedication to comfort without challenge. Yet, for me, and the 8% that keep their resolutions, y’all are about to see what this girl can do. There’s nothing left to do than to act towards the life I love after the catalystic year of 2016. Here’s to going for it. 

This was written at the beginning of 2017, on the last pages of a journal I started at the end of 2015. The next journal held most of 2017, its last pages filled on the flight home in late October after five months of traveling. It was an amazing experience to travel and bike across country, but I'm most proud of the process I went through to get "out". I've moved to different states and taken risks before, but nothing came close to packing up everything I owned and riding my bicycle into the unknown. Doing something daunting was a process that was littered with stress, lists, and hours of research, a lot of which I could have done without in hindsight. I want to remember the good pieces of the process for each bold venture I plan in the future. Hopefully it inspires someone.  

Brand New Journal, first page reflection on 2017

Before the collection of new friends' names and phone numbers, Warmshowers host's addresses and directions, soul poetry and summertime love songs, collected business cards and pressed foraged flowers, there was a series of lists and a new years resolution. Here is a tour of my journal and things I did last January.

1.  Read this article

                    from becomingminimalist.com. The 10 Most Important Things to Simplify in Your Life, This is #3:

"Your Goals – Reduce the number of goals you are intentionally striving for in your life to one or two. By reducing the number of goals that you are striving to accomplish, you will improve your focus and your success rate. Make a list of the things that you want to accomplish in your life and choose the two most important. When you finish one, add another from your list."

 …and acted upon its advice.  I copied the article in short hand and applied each point specifically to my life. “Reduce Goals” ended up being the most helpful. Flipping through my journals led me to realize I repeat a lot of resolutions and goals, and similar things get transferred to multiple to-do lists. Just like reading a lot of different self-help articles, everything sounds like a good idea but nothing helps until you stick to something and start acting. Perhaps the difference between a specialist and a generalist is dedication. 

2.  Identified my greatest obstacles

Upon the first page I wrote, "What are my most important goals in life?" the following, "My greatest obstacles to achieving these goals". 

Now, I don't want to air my inner most dreams, so you will just have to wonder about the rest, but the first goal was Bold Adventure. Which is something I feel I truly accomplished this year through travelling. Coupled with the resolutions I made two weeks prior to this list, "To become more comfortable spending time alone" and the other to exercise some accumulative, vague number of miles a week, I somehow found a way to get closer to all of my goals and resolutions by focusing on this one. Acknowledging each obstacle on paper made it easier to overcome.

3. Reimagined my roles

Who - Am I right now? Do I have the supplies to become[this person]?
Why- am I in this environment? What relationships do I subscribe to, do I actually fill the role I've created in my mind? 

This one was, and is, difficult. Not to mention, it is very personal. The partner I had at the time was one that challenged (sometimes prompted) me on all of seven of these, but most specifically this one. It caused a lot of tension, and of course, as a result, growth. Ironically, that partnership was another role I eventually reimagined. It's an interesting thing to become yourself while you are someone to someone else. Yet so often in my patterns, I have compromised growth in favor of the comfort of companionship. Staying in a city, job, or mentality that no longer served me in favor of loyalty. Figuring out who I'm actually doing things for and why, helped me do the next item on this list, and eventually free up some time and worry.

4.  Addressed my guilt

Does it really matter?

With all that we've built into what matters in our lives, a lot can happen when you strip each down to the shape they are. To stare at our shadows like the reflections they are, and address them like a cowboy at a duel to the death.

I lined up all that made me guilty, including my responsibility to a career timeline, Money, relationships, friendships, my dog, my role in my family. The things I want can easily be obstructed by my sense of responsibility; which are also things I want. My mind wanted peace. So, I started asking questions. Interviewing my guilt, if you will. Will these things really change if you go for what you want? Is there a chance it will stay the same? Will the people in your life support your decision? Have you even asked? Will your job support your sabbatical? Have you even asked? If you died tomorrow, what would you feel guilty about? Why? If you went for IT, what would you feel guilty about? Why? Face yourself, free yourself. Live in peace.

5.  Minimalized

When- did this have importance? Will it again? Can I create the importance, then move on? 

What- What can I give? What can I sell? What can I create? What papers are important? What books will be read? What sentimental things at my parents can I release? What clothes are worn?

Something I reflected on during the first few purges and while trying to lighten my load while bikepacking, is that our stuff weighs us down in more ways than one. Each attachment holds its own baggage emotionally and spiritually. Releasing attachments, and the physical possession they embody, to the things that are useful or bring us joy, can reharness one's energy and attention to their life. Possessions become tools in which to live.

6.  Chose the Good Life

 

              I'm still figuring this one out. There's a dichotomy in me where I spend time in a lofty, motivated tone, where I accomplish goals and write blog posts ;). Then I endulge in what I've already addressed as bad for me, maybe a stagnant "stuck" week where I eat comfort food and watch movies. There's a time and place for letting oneself be human, but my dedication to becoming an evolving woman, created a need to avow this to myself. Rearranging habits to apply this vow this year made my goals possible. I still fell (and fall) into endulging in my habitual patterns from time to time, but I return to this more often than not. A bit of yoga and journal writing realigns me right back to higher ground.

7. Imagined it

I once owned a shirt that said, "Imagination is our greatest natural resource". 

There is power in closing your eyes and imagining your ideal day. Call it meditating, manifesting, praying, or the law of attraction, but I've seen my friends' and my own wildest dreams come true through the power of imagination. 

The picture to the left is actually from the beginning of the 2015-2017 journal, but it's one of my favorites. Everything is still true, and I imagine it often. I see it too! 






"What do I want my life to look like?"

Gift Guide from an Environmental Mind

I was up all night the other day, not from my usual spurt of creativity or idealistic motivation, but from thinking about the one thing we all make everyday...TRASH. With roughly 326 million people in the US, at 4.5 pounds of trash a day, that's 1,467,000,000. One point five billion pounds of trash made every day. I'm not sure if it's what I saw on the side of the US's countryside this summer, the smell of our nation's largest trash incinerator stuck in my nose, pictures of aquatic animals in trash tides, or just the idea of what really matters, but yes... With this impending holiday season, what stressed me out the most was waste.

The three kings of the Christian story, probably just grabbed the most beautiful thing they could spare from their palace, likely traded, from another person from his kingdom or one close by. Hmm, so if we broke this down, I read regifted and maybe fair trade, that frankincense, gold, and myrrh was probably local as well as handmade or foraged and offered as a gift with a message of heartfelt value.

"Yeah", you say with an exaggerated eye roll, "but things are different now."

"Oh really?" I reply with a mischievous smirk.

There is stress around not having enough money around Christmas time. Second jobs, loans, and debt are created, all to give our loved ones the loudest love language of this season: gifts! Giving people things they don't want, with money we don't have, for the message of love.

Let's rewrite this.

I love the earth. Environmentalism is not a passion of mine, its issues and habits are affecting all of our resources for survival in our immediate surroundings. It is through this love, not guilt or righteousness, I feel empowered to share these ten gift ideas.



GIFT GUIDE FROM AN ENVIRONMENTAL MIND: REWRITING THE LOVE LANGUAGE OF GIFTS

1. FOOD
When in doubt, give them the one thing each human needs to survive. This is best if you know their favorites and dietary restrictions, but even if you don't, the regift is highly probable with this one. Roommates, spouses, and homeless people all love holiday work party cookies in my experience. If the cookies are still on your counter when they become bricks with frosting: its compostable. Most gifts can't become soil!
Homemade: This can be cheaper and the opportunity for starting/practicing a zero-waste kitchen is awesome. Here is a link to one of my favorite websites about that and a few recipes on bread, cookies, and granola etc. trashisfortossers.com
Local Buys: Jams, honey
Suggested Packaging: Jars, thrift store popcorn tins, or take the chance to minimize your overflowing tubberware cabinet

2. TIME
Let's bring back the coupon books of our childhood! The gift of experience! Or one less chore!
Free tuition to a one on one cooking class teaching that recipe they've always admired, that woodworking skill they've wanted to learn, the computer help they've been requesting.
Free admission to your passenger seat towards their favorite nature destination, to a date with you to the farmers market, mall, or simply out to lunch at a place of their choice.
Suggested Packaging: Handwritten note. C'mon, go full old-school. ribbons, glue gun, sloppy paint..

3. EXPERIENCE
Tickets to the museum, flower show, renaissance fair, aquarium, zoo, water park, theme park, wine n paint/ceramics, concert, ballet show, opera, workshop, or yoga class.

4. KNOWLEDGE
The gift that keeps on giving. Buy new books, buy digital files, buy comics, whatever it is doesn't matter but finding something that might inspire is in my opinion worth every penny. I prefer tangible books because they are portable, don't need to be recharged, and the regifting life is so possible here. The little capsule of information can be shared with a friend, or traded at a used book store (they usually employ a one-for-one exchange).

Read and Eat in Roxborough, PA
Photo Credit: top: Nina Bar-Gioria, Bottom: Jonathan Gonzales

Magazine subscriptions are also a great one, because it replenishes itself, reminding them frequently how great you are. ;] Non-glossy magazines can be composted, burned or recycled, glossy pages can be donated to schools or after-school places for arts and crafts purposes.
Suggested Packaging: Biodegradable twine, a note inside the cover

5. USEFUL BEAUTIFUL THINGS
This is my favorite niche lately. Business posts and personal website starting up soon, but in the meantime, the idea behind this one is: something that won't clutter, but will be used and bring joy.

• Comfy gloves,
• wooden spoon or cutting board (we all know these get funky after a while)
• an elegant pen,
• socks (can never go wrong with these!)

  

  This rosewood hand carved one is similar, found at

  MatrBoomie on Etsy

One of my favorite gifts is a bedside holder for my glasses, given by my cousin who listened to how often I expressed my various eyeglass casualties.

Suggested Packaging: cloth napkin, towel, in the spirit of usefulness!

6. KITS

This is the idea of pulling together associated things to provide a service.

• Cold- weather cold kit : Teabags, tissue pack, cough drops, vapor rub/essential oils, honey
• Good for: everyone who is not invincible to sickness aka humans.
• Environmental step-up for gift recipients who you think will use them: cloth handkerchiefs, handmade/fairtrade vapor rub, loose leaf tea and tea ball.
• Letter writing kit: Calligraphy pen, notecards, envelopes, stamps, sticker/wax to seal envelope
• Good for: Downtown abbey fans
• Env. Step up: recycled or handmade paper
• Barrett making kit for girls: metal barrettes, ribbons, beads, silk flowers, age-appropriate glue
• Env. step-up: found recycled materials from unused collections or

Note: Less of an environmental zero-waste idea, but make sure it will be valued and used. Supplement handmade, fair-trade, recycled paper or cloth handkerchiefs if you think they will be received well.

Suggested Packaging: Ideally, a cute home for the kit. a decent-looking cigar box, basket, jar

7. A STORY

A written note that expresses your bond or appreciation of them. A video story of what you have learned from them. A printed picture of a favorite shared moment together.

Homemade: Picture frame, painted quote or inside joke/word on canvas/repurposed board

Local Buys: Art that makes you think of them. Write out why.

Suggested Packaging: None.

8: SIMPLE TOYS: Active

I don't know what every kid loves, I haven't met every "kind" of kid or play personality, but I have spent a lot of time with kids through my family and work. I do know: they like to move!

• Dance CD- a mix of their favorites, or your favorites from when you were a kid
• Clips for gloves. Outdoor play is fun! Kiddos ALWAYS take off their gloves. Whether they are too hot, or need to use their hands, the mittens fly off and often go missing. These are a great invention I've seen in action and they work great.
• Homemade: They work similar to old-fashioned stocking clips, and I'm sure if you have some in the back of your hand-me-down craft box like I do, you could fasten them. If not here are some cute ones I found on Etsy!
  
  

  

  Link to this shop: Click HERE!

• Cones for yard games. Goals break, no one wants to put the structure up or take it down, twigs etc get caught in them...but cones make a good landmark. I guess the downfall is being on a property that the soccerball or whatever won't go too far or do too much damage on a strong kick. Things to consider, but I still suggest this alternative.

9. SIMPLE TOYS: CRAFTY

If they're not totally into action, or you want to give a quieter activity: they love to create. Busy hands ease our beloved sponge-like active minds.

Some gifts I've given and they've loved.

• Viking board game. A chess like game I drew on an old t-shirt. (11-13 years old)
• Personalized Chef apron (5yr old)
• An activity book with challenges to become a knight (Identify 2 plants to cure sick soldiers, help your brother send a letter to the king/AKA grandfather, write a story about a battle with a dragon) (7,10,12)

  

  Knight books I bound and made pouches for out of old black jeans: Christmas 2016.

Other ideas:

• Bead kits, nail art, paint-your-own stain glass art, are all gifts I've loved when I was a wee one.
• Costume Clothes: old stuff from your closet? random things from your Halloween collection bin? Hand it down so they can become the characters they love and ones they will create. Suggested Packaging: suitcase or trunk
• Action figures & dolls: EBAY or ask around first. No use buying a 35$ Superman when someone has one from the 80s sitting on a shelf. Also, if you have one on a shelf, think about that. Reference Toy Story 3 for ideas.

I remember as a kid after opening up Christmas presents, even if it was stuff I was really excited about and loved, I always wanted something to do that day. Between the family gatherings, and the obligatory "you can't call your friends it's family day", having something to work on is really nice at any age.

10: SIMPLE TOYS: "REAL"

• binoculars
• watch, it was a pocketwatch, but I remember as a kid loving a good waterproof one with a stopwatch feature
• compass
• knife
• guitars and other musical instruments
• microscope/hand lens
• telescope

These are all things I've personally seen kids prefer the "adult" version of and appreciate when they receive. The real leather or metal materials, the mature colors instead of bright neon, without the Barbie and Paw patrol characters on them, and lastly, the ability to break making it something special to care for. Spending the time teaching them how to care for it, how to use it, or how to store it away until appropriate is something that takes time, but can be worth it in what is gained. Talk to the caregiver if you are not them. This could be stored safely until they understand it, are old enough for the responsibility etc.

I apologize the last three were for children, but most likely we have children to buy for! Hopefully this inspires something in you. Or maybe it was just helpful for me to be constructive with my thought filled insomnia. Either way, here it is! Offer me thoughts, suggestions, call me out on my pretentious advice giving, whatever you've got, I'll take it. Like the package of Whitman's chocolate I without a doubt will be getting from my aunt, that I secretly look forward to. With Love<3 p="">

Learning Myself: Surviving Together

10/18/2017

Conscious Conquistadors 

Conquering lightly as we go 

Capturing the light in our cameras

Art in our hearts 

This age of exploration has shifted for me. At first it was a testament to my New Years resolution, “learn to be more comfortable with being alone”. Then it was realizing I love others and the humanness of natural attachment and adoration that arises. I’ll reflect on these further in other posts. 

Now, towards the end of my trip, it’s about learning what I want. This era of not having a conventional life with rent and having to be at work every day at a certain time has unveiled a lot for me. The simple actions of a day such as showering, eating, brushing your hair... all get timed out in a “feeling”matter. I feel like doing this, I’m feeling hungry now... its less of a routines of waking up and immediately make myself up, eat dinner after work, read a book before bed sort of way. Don’t get me wrong, there are still routines on the road, but there is compromise. 

Some of my favorite mornings during the bike trip was when I started biking early. I was able to organize myself this way a couple times before daybreak. Once the sun would rise, the cars are bustling, and the humanness of wanting food, coffee, and a bathroom settled in, I would stop to buy or make breakfast

Some of my least favorite times on the road is learning patience in small quarters. Passing by others to find a thing hidden in the corner of the travel bus when it’s an excitable rush out the door at our newest destination was a challenge(especially when everyone has to pee!). Having to wait for others was a compromise in these routine “wants”. Are we going to help each other, tier our needs, or is it individual anarchy?! (Fond pee dance memories, don’t worry folks;)

There were times on this trip where I was disillusioned with what I was doing, almost to the point of depression. Morning moods are always a good indicator of my inner happiness. A few days ago I read a quote from Thoreau that echoed the same thing: 

Measure you health by your sympathy with the morning and spring. If there is no response in you to the awakening of nature-if the prospect of a morning walk does banish sleep, if the warble of the first bluebird does not thrill you- know that the morning and spring of your life are past. Thus may you feel your pulse. 

...

On a grander scheme I have a harder time figuring out what I want. I am so grateful when opportunities come to me that I like, I don’t stop to see if they align with some preconceived laundry list of wants. From romantic partners to roommates, jobs to what city I want to live in, everything just seems to evolve around me and within me. 

....

Many people in my life don’t consider me a morning person. Yet, as I feel my pulse, I’m learning that’s not true. I have, however, realized I love certain things over others. Certain foods, certain speaking tones, certain music. There’s an uncomfortable unconscious aversion when I don’t like a “something”. That is the part of me I’m learning to unveil. As I meet her, I’m trying to understand if the aversion is out of comfort, fear, control...or really if the thing/situation/place or person is a rational thing to have an opinion about at all. Are my feelings really going to change the world right now? Where can I put my focus? Yeah this burger sucks now, but let me daydream about the garden of sweet lettuce and tomatoes I’m going to create. Yeah I wanted to leave for a hike an hour ago, but learning to communicate and hold space for a friend with patience can help to build our friendship. Yeah I’m really cranky this morning, vitamins and coffee won’t change the fact I need to change my attitudes and aspirations. 

Being able to choose is a great luxury. This travel spree has shown me just how much is under our control. Whether you are in a stage of change or comfort, you are the captain of your own ship. Those momentary lapses in control, like when you are opening up to love, when someone else is literally driving you, or feeling the

grander systems(schemes) of politics and society, these are all moments meant to enliven your flame. It ignites thoughts of what you can do, who you can be for others, and what you can contribute. Moments of discomfort also show you how your choices, the luxury which that action is, can sometimes be strongest when standing still. 

So I will enjoy mornings for their sunrise, friendships for their compromise, and love for what it contrives. I will continue to learn what I like and don’t like, and how to recognize the aversions as easily as my zeal. There is an evolution to my intentions this year, and I feel it is healthy. Reflections on aloneness and love were transformed into reflections and lessons on how to survive better together. 

What there is to See

My current personal challenge while riding is keeping my eyes on the horizon.

I reflected on this recently and noticed my focus is usually the ground five feet ahead of my wheel, or my immediate roadside vicinity. The latter in an attempt to collect nature treasures such as turtle shells or plants I'm learning how to forage. Every so often a bird will catch my attention and pull it upward- which immediately reveals the spectrum of sight I'm missing.

So far it's been a beautiful cornucopia of sights this way- eagles, vultures,  hawks, owls, orioles, and many others I am not familiar with, along with the stories between them. Who has eaten who's young, who is courting who, and lastly, I wonder what they are saying and to who, could it be me? ;) There have been snapping turtles, box turtles crossing roads, porcupines, stunned baby skunks, unlucky raccoons, rabbits that seem to grow in size the farther west I travel.

Yet, I've been missing the horizon. The grand scene of the landscape, the open road constant and straight, framed with an ever evolving decor.

My friends like to remind me that I overthink things. I find meaning and poetry in a lot of things, and enjoy finding ways to evolve my words, actions, and perspective. Perhaps peering into the horizon is synonymous with my view towards the future. Or maybe just a different way to entertain myself from this bicycle saddle. Either way, I'll be attempting this new strategy or meditation, and share if I find something between where the sky and earth meet.

For more thoughts on sight read Annie Dillard's "Pilgrim at Tinker Creek". A good snipbit can be found here:

https://www.brainpickings.org/2015/03/04/annie-dillard-pilgrim-at-tinker-creek-seeing/

Listening to Remember

30 days have passed since I have started this trip, and until a few days ago, everything felt like it was going too quickly. At first I thought it was my rat-race city mentality, then my performance-oriented work-mode; each I was hoping would fade away with miles and time. It took meeting fantastic elders and through their oral histories, the act of remembering how to listen, for me to truly realize how to slow down.

It might have been the 11miles we travelled from all gps and cell phone reception, the denseness of the quiescent forest, or the comfortability of lived-in homely nest, but I felt I was able to listen and absorb more information then normal. Usually, especially if my hand or feet are not busy, but my mind tends to drift from attention. Yet, the experience of oral history has the greatest chance of long term memory for me. This learning process lends to a different style  and speed of digestion- the opportunity to ask questions, to relate, to move around, to touch the subject of conversation, and to feel whether that is to laugh, enjoy, cry, sigh, or nod in understanding. My friends taught me, "The elders are the ones to show the ways of the past, the young to show what is to come in the future, and the middle age to show what is." More often than sometimes I hear young people, including myself, feeling lost. At the same time a lot is being lost, and we aren't listening or remembering. 

Okay, so to back it up a bit, the Green Riders were in Munising, Michigan at the local farmers market. I immediately walked up to my future friends' tent, said hello and thought I had recognized Bill as a new friend named Ralph I had met a few days prior in the town(that story to be written and told later!). I checked out ttheir market table and chatted about a few things such as native ceremony, tanning, and the Green Riders mission. Although, throughout the conversation I was looking off in the distance assessing the market and where my friends were, or behind me to make space for potential customers. I felt I was taking their time. Blocking sales. I didn't have any money. I walked away. Later on at camp, fellow rider Jonathan expressed the amount of time he spend talking with them and that he was invited to stay in their home. Immediate regret and jealousy passed through me, but grateful for Jonathan's ability to connect and selflessly share, we set out allied the next day to their home. Eventually getting lost on the way, Bill(Burntfinger) and Marj picked us up in their van, not without a prompt scolding for trusting gps instead of maps all the time! **First wisdom**

As I'm writing this I start to wish I had taken more pictures of their homestead, but of course presence and remembering was a part of the experience. Their version of off-the-grid homesteading(another recollection to come as well) consisted of chickens, various gardening systems including small hoop house, container, repurposed tires, and an in-ground garden with a strong wire fence to prevent the many animals from taking over; solar panels; and a generator they turned off at night. "Say hello to Grandmother moon then go to sleep, be up when the sun's up." Their home was a humble Mecca of resources, each skill matched with materials and a bookshelf of knowledge. "We do what we can with what we have."

While listening, walking around the property, and doing work for them, there were small moments that were self actualizing. One I loved most was when I sung a line or two, and Auntie Marj said something along the lines of, "well look at that, you have a voice." I do, don't I! And the remembrance of the things I had loved doing but have given up such as sewing, dancing, listening, wearing skirts often, and being beautiful for the sake of being a woman. Ah, the last one threw you off a little didn't it? An abstract stretch, but necessary and true. They also reminded me of the things I've wanted to learn such as leather tanning, carving, pattern making, medicine salve making, tincture making, cross stitch and beading. 

"Don't forget to write, Burnttoe." Says Burntfinger as we gather to leave. And I couldn't agree more. I've been wanting to write, but now it's different. It won't be  for the obligation of the day being over, or because I am traveling, or because a kindhearted elder shares my affinity for snail mail. Rather it's  because the people I am meeting's oral histories are worth remembering. Additionally, what I remember and learn is my purpose in having a voice. 

Departing Alone, Surviving as Community

As my departure got closer, everyone started asking, "When are you leaving?" As if it's a sure thing. As if I'm ever going to be prepared enough for the goal-oriented adventure to come. There have been hours spent deciding about gear, a cyclical anxious-progress-lull of my training and sponsorship-seeking schedule, and this unsettled feeling of pulling this together last minute. After committing to this two months ago, following hearing about it in January, I feel proud and grateful for where I sit. Today, I could've been on the road, but I chose to pack and do last minute gear repairs trying to set myself up for success! I feel at peace. Here are some thoughts on survival and community written on Sunday:

There's a consistent internal parallel lately, that SURVIVAL is synonymous with SUSTAINABILITY.

The connotations that come with sustainability are abundant. Of my own, I think of sustainability personally, environmentally, and within a society.
"Sustain one's self"
"Do things that affect the earth less"
"An action that is sound economically, feasibly, and has good long-term consequences. i.e. A business that sustains the stock market recession."
I'm sure there are many answers to this from educated facets. There are definitions from "Sustainability" textbooks (they exist- I have a few!), the 21st century go-to Google, Merriam Webster; however, each eludes to actions taken to ensure survival.

When we maintain personal survival, only then can we contribute well to our natural and societal surroundings. 

Preparing for this trip, also known as trying to ensure my future survival, I am reminded of how grateful I am for the opportunity. Although each detail isn't flawless, I was prepared for the opportunity to think this was possible for myself. Preparations such as each camping experience, on-the-fly athletic challenge, innovative find-a-way finances, as well as support from my community. (Stay tuned for this beautiful collection of good-nature in detail)

It took a great deal of help to get me to this point of possibility. To explain why I'm phrasing this in the way that I am, I'll break it down even farther. My fundamental needs for survival were met, so I was able to dream. I like to think back to how artists and philosophers were "sponsored" in a way, in an effort to further society. I'm not claiming to personally further society, yet I recognize the faster each of us can get closer to the level of "self-actualization", perhaps the stronger we can be as a whole. For me to make these kind of changes, I tend to do so in bold strides.

Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs

This endeavor, that is essentially a vacation where I am not procuring income, feels contradictory to the "work-work-work to ensure personal survival" mentality ingrained in me from my "American Dream" environment. I do recognize the potential pitfalls of hubris during this trip, especially in choosing to write about it and asking for money to do so. The only way I could figure out a way to ask for donations through "GoFundMe" and keep my humility in check, was to vow to donate a portion to a different non-profit each week. And to do all I can in service of others.

If I can sustain myself, 

through meager savings 

(I'll be frank here, I have <$2,000 to my name and debts exist), 

and support from my community, 

I know I will be able to elevate myself, my environment, and my society to a greater level of survival and sustainability. 

I am determined to do so!

Nothing left to do but DO!

The Ultimate Support

Today is Earth Day!

As an environmental educator, I lead field trips for school groups outdoors. A good portion of the days, especially in the spring, are held on days with what many people call "bad weather". Rainy, cold, soggy, foggy, frizzy-hair producing, mud-in-your-sock, kind of days. Yet, the show must go on! I remind them that our skin is waterproof, and we set out down the trail to hunt for signs of wildlife burrowed out of the rain; footprints in the mud puddles.

Often the complaints continue. At that point I tell them a secret: these are my favorite kinds of days.

Everyone loves the sunny days. We post pictures of their brightly crisp colors on social media, or frame snapshots from those days on our wall. We go out to the park and sit on the grass, "Oh, isn't nature beautiful?", we say. But on the "bad days", we hide inside, under covers, like hibernating animals.

Yet, what materials are we using when we are hiding inside? The things we use daily, from where did they derive? The books we curl up with, the glass and metal that comprise our cellphones, every drop of water and scrap of food we consume to sustain our lives----no matter the weather, no matter our mood, the Earth is providing us with what we need to survive. It is the ultimate support.

So these are my favorite days. Like a beloved friend that you give a hug to on their grumpy days, hanging out in nature on the "bad" days is like my thank you. I love you even when you're down, ugly, unlovable and cold. You are beautiful. You are home.