I have started my voyage today. After a visit with my parents, I bid them farewell then took a midday nap with the goal of waking up silent. Today I felt less enthusiastic about my challenge, which was very strange since I have been 100% passionate about it since its creation. I am a very determined person, and someone who takes promises very seriously. So since I promised myself I would do this I need to at least try. I know at the root of my soul that I'm just having commitment issues to the amount of time I promised for this project. I decided I need to keep that open and the full semester/thanksgiving promise might be altered. It is more artistic that way, to just have the feeling of when to start again. Like a drummer in a band knows to bring it back to the steady heartbeat. So my "goal" is to take this to Thanksgiving or as close as possible, regardless of my hesitance right now.
Sooo, so far...It's already paid off.
I feel like I'm back on my path. You know the feeling that everything feels quite alright and decisions seem clearer to make; like there is a path laid out in gold right in front of you? That not even witches or fields of poppies could take you off for too long? Well that's where I am. So much so I don't even care about the ruby red slippers on my feet because home is in my heart.
That sounds a little contradictory doesn't it? That I am very hesitant but very happy to be doing this at the same time? Well, hmm. Oh well. I do feel a little mixed up. But there are things that make it clearer. And though I've only been consciously silent for about six hours, I've already seen some effects it has on my life. And those little "road-signs" make life a little easier. For example, I came in contact with someone I hadn't met yet, who was also a little skeptic of what I was doing. It was hard to not explain it to him. A lovely man named Eric was around and he stood up for what I was doing, because he has taken a vow before. The man he was speaking to listened and possibly learned, but I learned from him by what he had conversations about. He directed it to me though I didn't speak back, which I thought was very kind. I did say a hello and an okay by accident too. Mistakes will be made with this, but Im feeling refreshed already.
"Silence is refreshment for the soul" Wyonna Judd
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