What makes pleasantries pleasant?

How is it going?

1) Fine, thanks.
2) oh my god, I'm having the worst time ever...................
3) well Im taking it one day at a time
4) splendiferously! you?!
5) it's going

There are so many answers to that question, but do we ever truly know how someone else is doing? What is going on in their mind? We use words as tools, but there are so many meanings to a word, good or bad connotations, and so forth. Sometimes one tries to keep it simple(1), but could possibly come off short or untrusting. It's hard to figure out what kind of answer the question asker is looking for. If we know the questioner really well, then the one who answers might be inclined to show true emotion(2), as in number two. However, sometimes its more about the one asking the question than the one who answers, to make them feel amiable, but one might not actually care about the answer.

There are so many ways to feel, but also to misconstrue. I've found the only way to decipher is to check the question asker for eye contact.
A quick look is a disconnected person, preoccupied with their own thoughts or agenda. They're most of times the ones looking down, not listening when you answer, or even have walked by before you can answer. The one's your asking yourself afterwards, Why'd you even ask?
A deep look where the person sees your eye color is someone who truly wants to know. though this can be set up for a person who likes to unload negativity like in my number 2 example. Deep looks are often replied with a soft look, a sigh, a moment to figure it out, and usually a genuine answer comes out.
Though sometimes people do care, and want to hear, but don't have time to. This is where it gets tricky. One needs to be intuitive or know their friends well. This is most when having a programmed response ready is most in handy, for me at least(3+5). I always find myself sticking with certain responses for long periods of time, or for a whole day, or telling each person something different to entertain myself.
Sometimes its all about energy. The way someone asks with the tone of their voice or their gestures, can change a person's answer or sometimes even their mood altogether.

This is what I've been observing the past few days of mindfulness. How is that going you may ask? Well, I'm not exactly as silent as I had planned since the 12th. Being a part of a community like a college, changes needed to be made to meet the needs of others. AKA, my friends wanted to talk to me since I returned to school the same time I started my challenge. I have been waking up in the morning with the goal of being more mindful with what I say than the day before. The promise does escape me however, especially when I get used to talking from being in a class and doing group work. This is when I have more of a tendency to interrupt, talk over others, or just talk for the sake of talking. Which produces a moment that I just want to be quiet. Though its not from anyone, nor from inner suppression, but rather a longing to start my challenge more than ever. I am so excited to organize my life for one more week, then start my challenge like I plan to.

Well, hopefully my post will help you rethink how you interact in everyday pleasantries. For now….Sayonara!